Sleeping is SO much fun! NOT.

Hi Baby,

What’s the matter? Cranky? Is it because you REFUSE to sleep? Because it seems like you’re fighting napping. Every. single. time.

Sleeping is SO much fun! You get to lay down on a nice, warm bed and be wrapped up like a cocoon. Doesn’t this make you feel safe? There’s even a soft hum of white noise in the background and your llama stuffie next to you. Doesn’t this look familiar to you? You get to close your eyes and drift into a peaceful bliss, where there is no need to cry or fuss. See, watch momma do it. So easy. Just close your eyes…

Aren’t you getting just a bit sleepy?

OK, how about if we rock you and bounce you up and down until are thighs can’t take it anymore? And we pat your back and your tummy until we can’t feel our hands? And we cradle you until are arms feel like burning?



C’mon! !@#!@$

Work with me baby. I love you but you’re turning us into raging zombies. Zombie parents are not nice. They hate everything, yell a lot, and are just not fun in general. And they eat their babies. Did you know that? Now, will you sleep?



Let’s go find things you can put in your mouth.

Love you even when I hate you,


Good thing you’re still cute.

Do Not Wake A Sleeping Baby

I shushed a grown man today. I felt a little silly afterwards but it was a complete knee jerk reaction. Maybe people don’t know what I’m doing when I’m swaying back and forth in the baby aisles at Target. Maybe they don’t see that I have a sleeping baby strapped to me. Maybe they don’t hear me saying, “shhh, shhh, shhh,” in my meager attempts to replicate my white noise app. But if you do see me doing this, how about you don’t come up to me and shout like you’re at a Beyoncé concert and ask me where the nearest exit is. How about you not wake my sleeping baby?! And that’s where shushing adults are completely acceptable (says me).

Do not wake me if I’m sleeping please.

Bring it on 2016!

Chris and I actually stayed up past midnight last night – woo! Even though 2015 had some road bumps, it brought us many happy memories. I am so grateful for having Chris in my life who is super supportive. I feel like I could tell him I’m going to clown school and he would say sounds great! (No, clown school is not in the works for 2016.) And I am grateful for Miss Lyra who has been the best teacher of patience for both of us. She is a tough teacher 😉 But at the end of the day, she is making us stronger. We already have some fun plans in store for 2016 – bring it on!


Life with Lyra: 3 Month Update

Happy three months Lyra! It’s been so much fun (and exhausting, frustrating, and hard) so far. Lyra is such a different baby than when we brought her home from the hospital. She’s already been on a plane too! We flew to Minneapolis on Halloween weekend for my foster Grandma’s funeral. It was so unexpected. I’m so sad that Lyra never got to meet her in person but on the same hand, Grandma Donna’s funeral allowed us to see a lot of my family and extended family that we might not have seen this year. We were nervous to travel with her but she did so well. The day we got home though was a different story. Lyra was such a crank. Thankfully for us, her crank days are far and few between!


It’s only when you have a newborn that you realize how loud everything is. Lyra and I go on a walk every day. Its great exercise for me and its great for her since it’s a guaranteed nap for her. Though I am always on the look out for things that are absurdly loud that could wake her up. For instance, motorcycles, trash collectors, loud people on their cell phones, slamming doors – all things I hate now. But I’ve found its easy to soothe her back to sleep if I just keep walking.

I thought Lyra was allergic to sleep because for a while she was only napping for 20 or 30 minutes at a time. At night, she would wake up every hour and a half. We were going insane. Sleep deprivation is a method of torture for a reason! But we’ve been working to train her that sleep is a good thing. You want sleep baby! And lately, she’s been such a great sleeper. Fingers crossed.


Lyra has been reaching and grabbing onto things! It’s so cool to see her focus on something and to move her hands toward it. She’s also blowing raspberries but those seem less intentional. I think she surprises herself each time she does it. Lyra is such a smiley baby too. We love making her smile and giggle and make lots of noises. Sometimes we swear we can hear her saying a distinguishable word. So far, she’s said the words ‘cute’ and ‘Gary’. Yup, pretty sure.

We do a bit of tummy time each day. In the beginning, I hated tummy time. She struggled a lot to hold up her head but now she can hold it up pretty high.

She loves to be on her changing table.
She is obsessed with staring at our bookcase and the ceiling fan.
She loves rocking in her crib while staring at the unfinished mobile I made for her. Don’t know when I’ll get around to finishing it but she doesn’t seem to mind.
Enjoys her play mat!
LOVES the bath.

Having her diaper changed in the middle of the night. She always fusses.
She kind of dislikes being in the car seat. We don’t take her around much in the car so I believe she’s just not use to it.

Next weekend, we have a reunion with the parents from our birthing class. I can’t wait to see all the babies!

Lyra’s Birth Story

I can’t believe Lyra is almost two months old! I’ve been horrible at blogging and will probably continue to get worse but I will try, scout’s honor, to blog more. I’ll begin with her birth story since people have been asking how it happened.

I knew our baby girl would come early because 1) all of my mom’s kids came early, 2) some of my pre-pregnancy ailments were coming back like my horrible toothache, and 3) my spidey senses said so. On Sunday morning, the day before she was born, I woke up and told Chris that I was ready to have her be here (true story) but I couldn’t have predicted that she was ready too! That morning I had bloody show – I’ll leave it up to those who don’t know what that is to google it – and from all the books, it seems labor could start within 24 hours to a few days. But I didn’t think much of it.

Chris and I went out for breakfast along the water and then hung out the rest of the morning. In the afternoon, we headed to Golden Gate park for Outside Lands where we were helping out a friend sell pies. We got to hear Nate Ruess perform and walked around the concert a bit before going to our friends booth where we settled for the evening. I did get to sneak out and hear Sam Smith perform and I joined Chris to see Elton John. Looking back, I honestly didn’t feel like the day was super strenuous – especially not compared to a day of running a summer camp!

That night, a little after 2am I felt a weird abdominal cramp. I didn’t have any Braxton Hicks contractions during my pregnancy so I didn’t know what contractions would feel like. At first I shrugged it off but after it kept happening I woke Chris up and told him I may be having contractions. It was kind of freaky! The first thing we did was cover up all the clocks. It sounds silly but it was our attempt to not be ruled by the clock and focus on what was presently happening. I’m so glad because it truly made laboring a lot easier. I wasn’t looking at the time constantly and thinking about what would happen next. The contractions were irregular initially and varying in intensity. I found having Chris apply pressure on my lower back lessened the pain of each contraction so that’s what we did. At some point I decided to take a shower and told Chris to sleep so he can rest up. Who knew how long this would take? The shower was a god send. I stood in the water for a good amount of time- maybe an hour – and it felt awesome. (Droughts do not apply to pregnant ladies!) I attempted to then lay down and sleep but it was not happening. I read stories of women sleeping in between their contractions. Who the heck are these women??? Anyways, when the contractions were 4 minutes apart for over an hour we decided to go to the hospital.

My last bump photo before going to the hospital.

We got to the hospital around 9:30 am. They hooked me up to a fetal monitor and my contractions slowed down considerably. It was hella frustrating! (Yes, I use that word sometimes.) I was barely a centimeter dilated and was already thinking we would be sent home. The nurse suggested we take a walk and come back in an hour to see if I made any progress. It’s funny because as soon as I started moving around the contractions came back. I was holding on to the walls as we walked around the hospital each time a contraction came, surely freaking people out. We got back to triage at 11:30am and I was 4 centimeters dilated this time! This earned me an admission to labor and deliver – woo hoo! We didn’t get up to the room until 1pm and at that point I felt like my insides were turning inside out. I was 6/7 centimeters dilated by the time they drew some blood and hooked me up to a saline IV to help with my dehydration. It was hard to keep anything down. I was in pain at that point but not enough to ask for an epidural. Chris and I decided beforehand that if I wanted an epidural, it wouldn’t be enough to just say, “I want an epidural,” but I had to say our code word which was “Shasta.” (I stole this code word from a woman in our birthing class.) I never quite got to that point of using our code word.

Around 2:35pm, I asked to take a shower because I knew the water would help with the contractions. After about five minutes in the shower, a sudden urge came to push. The best way I can describe the feeling is like having this incredible, monumental, overwhelming pressure pushing down on your insides wanting to get out. You basically feel like you’re going to poop out a watermelon (sorry for the image) and you’re bursting at the seams to do it. The nurses came in right away and said I was ready to push BUT I couldn’t push until the doctor came. It’s probably the most single-handedly cruel thing you can say to a woman in labor. Chris felt really bad because he could see I was struggling. Every time a contraction came, I told the nurse that I need to push and she kept telling me that I had to wait and that I could breathe through the contraction. After about 15 minutes of this back and forth, my doctor finally came and my water broke! You know in movies, when the woman is screaming, “Get this baby out of me!” – that was me.

I’m not going to lie, the pushing part was the hardest part of labor for me. I was able to talk in between contractions still and make jokes though so the pain wasn’t completely insufferable. Pushing did take all of my concentration and focus. I was so exhausted and could barely hold my head up after about 10 minutes that I had to ask the nurse to help me hold my head up. I was getting a little discourage when another nurse told me to get really angry and push like I really wanted this baby out. It helped because in about five minutes, she was out! And Chris and I were so happy.

All the staff at the hospital were really amazing in helping us through everything. I truly couldn’t have done it without them! Here are some photos from her first two months:

Dear Baby

Chris and I wrote this letter to our baby a few weeks ago and I intended to post it last week but I guess baby had other plans!

On Monday, August 10th we welcomed Lyra Roseminh Selin at 3:15pm. She weighed 5 pounds 6 ounces and measured 18.5 inches.

Here’s what we had to say:

Hello Baby!

You’re almost here! I want you to know we’re very excited for you to arrive. Your Daddy has this image of you busting through the front door with a suitcase in each hand. He is silly like that. Almost as much as your Momma. I hope you don’t mind but I really want to dress you up in fun costumes. But your Dad keeps telling me you’re not a pet dog, WHICH consequently gave me the idea to get your outfits at Petsmart. Don’t worry. He vetoed that idea. (Realistically, your arms and legs would be hard to line up.)

We named you after someone who is playful, smart, unruly and fearless. We hope you will be all these things. You don’t have to like cooking, or skiing, or camping (seriously, you don’t have to like camping). It would make us happy if you were nobody but yourself. I want you to have your father’s patience and reserved nature but it’s okay to be impulsive too! Pee into the wind! (Figuratively.) Daddy hopes you’ll be a hard worker like Momma. Do what you feel is right and don’t take no for an answer.

We can’t wait to show you San Francisco, have you play in the dirt and just see how blue the sky can be. Daddy can’t wait to show you what nature has to offer. And, we can’t wait to have you taste mangoes, ice cream, avocados and broccoli! We’re already excited to take you on your first adventure – a plane ride to New York.

We hope you will always be present in each moment of life as it unfolds. Aka, put down your iPhone and look up at this beautiful world we live in! Take all of it in. Life is fleeting.

You’ll have to forgive us since we’re new at parenthood and you’re kind of like our first pancake. The first pancake is the one that is always a little funkier and more unusual than the other pancakes. I am a first pancake so I should know! But we will always be the people you need us to be. We are already your biggest fans.


Momma & Daddy

35 weeks

I’m in my last two weeks of summer camp. The kids this week are super adorable and made me this flower crown from the garden. They could have a business going! 

How far along are you? 35 weeks and 5 days

Weight gain? About 17 pounds. I’m thinking I’ll reach 20 pounds when all is said and done. 

Cravings? I noticed I want to eat more ice cream. Maybe it’s because San Francisco is actually hot! Maybe it’s because I am always sweating…

Generally feeling? Really tired these days and super winded all the time. It’s like I’m catching my breath. I’m also feeling lots of movement! This baby is partying like it’s 1999 in there.

Looking forward to? Not being pregnant! I mostly miss my old clothes. I’m also excited to meet this baby! 

Fears? Last week it was giving birth which was a total 180 from a month ago. I went down a bad rabbit hole online so now I’m avoiding Google like the plague. This week, I’m worried about how our small 1-bedroom apartment is going to contain all three of us. I also panicked because I realized we literally had nothing for the baby so I went on a shopping spree online after sending out a frantic email to all the mommas I know for their advice. 

What I’ve been loving? I have really enjoyed slowing down. It’s nice to just take it easy and really savor the last few weeks of pre-baby time.

Maternity clothes? I started to wear my non-maternity clothes, especially the bigger sweaters and tees. I just like my old clothes better. 

Gender? Still a secret until August!