What’s the matter? Cranky? Is it because you REFUSE to sleep? Because it seems like you’re fighting napping. Every. single. time.
Sleeping is SO much fun! You get to lay down on a nice, warm bed and be wrapped up like a cocoon. Doesn’t this make you feel safe? There’s even a soft hum of white noise in the background and your llama stuffie next to you. Doesn’t this look familiar to you? You get to close your eyes and drift into a peaceful bliss, where there is no need to cry or fuss. See, watch momma do it. So easy. Just close your eyes…
Aren’t you getting just a bit sleepy?
OK, how about if we rock you and bounce you up and down until are thighs can’t take it anymore? And we pat your back and your tummy until we can’t feel our hands? And we cradle you until are arms feel like burning?
Work with me baby. I love you but you’re turning us into raging zombies. Zombie parents are not nice. They hate everything, yell a lot, and are just not fun in general. And they eat their babies. Did you know that? Now, will you sleep?
Let’s go find things you can put in your mouth.
Love you even when I hate you,